Canadian Music Week – Day 1

Blogging after concerts seems to be tradition for me. Last night was the Treble Charger reunion concert at the Phoenix.  I would review the concert but let’s be realistic, everyone wants to know what sort of retarded people we encountered in the crowd.  Anyways, whenever WP7 and I go to concerts it’s pretty normal to run into interesting people.  Like I said, I tend to attract the retards whenever I go to big public events.  Opposites attract right?  Or, maybe I have it all wrong and everyone around me is normal and I’m the retard.

Here are the notables:

Mr. Come On – The Big Bald Bastard

This was an interesting character. Mainly because he would randomly shout “COME ON!” in the middle of every song that Twin Atlantic would play.  He would do it at the most inopportune times. For example, during  slow interludes and bridges.  I wanted to get it on video but I felt it would be awkward filming him as I stood beside him.  Here’s the closest visual I could find:

Awkward Threesome

So this girl and two guys were standing in front of us during the Treble Charger gig. For the first half of the gig I thought the girl was with the taller of the two guys. They appeared to be a couple. However, as the concert went on the shorter dude started kissing on her and the first guy was hands off. It was like they were taking turns. I can only imagine the conversation before the concert. “Dude, you can have her for the first 8 songs but after she’s mine! If there’s an encore, we flip a coin.”  That wasn’t the oddest thing about this threesome though.  Everyone knows of some sort of ranking system of attractiveness of people in general. It’s usually on a scale of 10 where 10 is gorgeous and 1 is hideous. The general rule is couples are usually similar on the scale of attractiveness. So a 10 will typically have a partner who is a 9 or 10.  I found the standard deviation to be about 1.27 in most cases (don’t ask me how I came up with that).  Anyways, the girl in this threesome was about a 7 but the short guy was at best a 3. That’s a 4 point difference! That’s almost unheard of.  You’re considered lucky if you score someone 2 points higher than you. But four? FOUR!? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in a few countries.

Billy Corgan meets Smeagol

This dude got asked to dance on stage because he was dancing the craziest.  This skinny bald guy was likely on speed.  His dance moves incorporated head-banging and general motions that may be familiar to Curious George.

         +     =  This Dude

That was Night 1 of Canadian Music Week. Can’t wait to see what’s in store for the rest of the week…

Story Time...

I wrote this on the plane last December on my way to San Francisco. I have been meaning to post more but life kind of got in the way.  Reading this over reminded me of how aggravated I was when I wrote it...

So why do the most retarded people find a way gather around me. It appears that I attract two things when I travel, mosquitoes and retards. After my excursion into the scum breeding grounds known as China, I find myself in a seat on a plane to San Francisco beside a crazy woman. She decides to take off her shoes and socks and sleep in some fucked up cross-legged position taking up more room than necessary. Her feet are in uncomfortable proximity to me. She also rubs and picks at them. She's giving them the works as if she was in her living rooms. I'm on the aisle seat and this bitch is pissing off both the guy in the window seat and myself. The dude at the window seat is kind of weird too. In the middle of the flight he gets up, goes to the aisle, takes his bag out from the overhead compartment and starts unpacking in the middle of the aisle. Meanwhile, I stand there waiting for him to finish his picnic so I can let him through to his seat. Where do all these inconsiderate idiots come from? I know, China mostly, but I am still baffled by the existence of such discusting beings. There have been a number of funky smells on this flight so far. Right now it smells like a very unclean vagina. Someone already farted twice on this flight. No sleep for me this time...